…rues Bob Dylan in his dirge of human failing and lost love, “I Threw it All Away” (1969); of how he “once held her, in my arms” but he “was cruel, and treated her like a fool”. Despite being a lesser great in the pantheon of Dylan songs, “Away” is a personal favorite, covered by several artists I admire, notably George Harrison, Elvis Costello and Roddy Frame (of Aztec Camera, whose rendition was the first I heard). For a particularly tender version, here is an aching rendition by Australia-based Dan Parsons:
This year marks 25 years of marriage for me and Florence.
We first met in 1992; I had recently completed over two years of conscripted military service and was waiting for October to start college in the UK, but she had just started law school in Singapore that June. Our lives had no reason to intersect until my poor judgment at a traffic light saw my mom’s aging Toyota land in a repair shop, ending my daily routine of morning workouts at a far away pool. While twiddling my thumbs, a chance invitation from a family friend to crash a law lecture led to an introduction to Florence, who has consistently maintained that she could not have been more annoyed by my presence and never gave the encounter a second thought.
It has been the great fortune of my life that our first meeting did not put her off completely, and that at the unsure and unformed age of twenty, I persuaded her to give me a chance. There is no doubt in my mind that she could have, and should have, done better. Her loss has been my gain.
In the closing stanza, Dylan counsels
“So if you find someone that gives you all of her love
Take it to your heart, don't let it stray”.
As I reflect on these verses, I am glad that I had the wisdom in my youth not to “throw it all away”: Florence has been my ever companion, my good conscience, my silent cheerleader, my clear sight, and a soft place to land for me and both our children. To the extent I have been a good husband, I like to think it is because she showed me the way through her patience, forbearance and strength, and that through this, we have each developed the means to trust the support and criticism of the other.
I would like to revert to the verse titling this post:
“Once I had mountains in the palm of my hands
And rivers that ran through every day”.
Why? Because the riches of another’s love are plentiful: acceptance of who you are combined with hope for who you can be, your best interests foremost without blindness to your flaws, a posture of commitment knowing hard times lie ahead.
Dylan’s poetry expresses that true love is profound, immeasurably powerful, and good. It is divine. My favorite Dylan song is “Make You Feel My Love” - but not the version popularized by Adele. It is the Phil Keaggy version which moves me, and to which I owe the insight shared today.
J ❤️ F
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Beautiful!