Originally posted on LinkedIn on Nov 29, 2023
One of my favorite YouTube videos is Randy Pausch’s “The Last Lecture”. Randy (1960-2008) taught computer science at Carnegie Mellon. In 2007, when he discovered he had terminal cancer, he invited his peers, students and family to a final lecture, to share his views on life. It’s moving, humorous and insightful. One particularly meaningful snippet: “When you’re frustrated with people, when they’ve made you angry, it just may be because you haven’t given them enough time...Almost everybody has a good side. Just keep waiting. It will come out.”
https://lnkd.in/eRVQknnK
Randy’s words struck a deep chord. I wasn’t born a patient person. I was always in a rush to go somewhere, to get something done, to accomplish something. I moved around a lot as a kid (India to Singapore to Boston to Singapore to DC to Singapore, all before the age of 10). Maybe it always felt like the clock was counting down before someone hit “reset” again. Growing up, this impatience with life translated into an intemperance with people, being closed to opposing views, and occasionally, hubris.
Over the years, I have come back to Randy’s words over and over. When I became a dad, I started to see how a world that gives second chances is a better world for my two boys. They are, like most boys their age, still figuring life out: without second chances what’s the incentive to learn from mistakes? As a team manager, I developed the insight that impatience can stem from reductive objectification of others: *you* are holding up the line, walking too slowly, not holding up *your* end of the bargain, and it’s costing me *my* time. If I didn’t want my boys treated this way, I would have to learn how to do better.
I still have a long way to go, but there are some things I’m proud of. One is fostering a team culture that is supportive and recognizes it takes time to “learn our system” – we do complex work in a complex organization, and excellence comes through learning, trial and repetition. Another is striving to develop close bonds with team members so that when the current role loses allure, or is no longer the right fit, we can pivot to something that may better fit their true potential. A third is listening to positive views that others have of a given individual – no one person can see all the good, and we often tend to focus on the bad. But listening to lots of perspectives gives a more rounded picture and provides context.
Above all, I’m truly fortunate to be blessed by compassionate, caring and invested team leaders who demonstrate and inspire these behaviors. They hold me accountable and help me patiently wait to see the true potential.
I am fortunate that they didn’t give up on me when my limitations were evident: Randy was right.
Til next time – J