Anchors Away (DB Exclusive, 10.9.24)
Life on the shoals.
Some subscribers have indicated an interest in articles that “chain together” my thinking. I hope you find this helpful in that regard.
What do you anchor yourself to? Whether I am conscious of it or not, there are things I hold on to that tether me to, and meaningfully define my place in, the world.
For some people, the anchor is work. It may provide them meaning and purpose. This is true of me. (See: Why Work? and Should I Stay or Should I Go?) To others, work is a source of status and power, or access to nice things. Work can supply the means to provide for important people in your life. In this way, and others, it is a source of validation. For some, work brings joy - but not for all. Even the best work is only work. In ten years, or fifty, or a hundred, will what I did in the last 24 hours be admired, much less understood or remembered? (See: The Status Paradox).
For others, their anchor is their identity. Like me, such individuals celebrate their culture, their lifestyle, their history, their experience, their community, their choices. (See: Helping Hands). I love that I am unique - and that we are all unique. I think uniqueness is what makes the world not only an amazing place, but an energetic one. When we encounter differences in, or through, others, we are energized. Our minds race to understand, to reconcile, to adapt. And so identity is a source of both purpose and passion.
But identity is also prone to distortion. All such projections are, because identity is first and foremost narrative. It is our story of self - but we are not completely in control of our own stories (though it feels good to assert otherwise). Even if others do not seek to define us, when we are gone, our story ends. When all that is left is the memories others have of us, we become photographs, fading in the sun. (See: What Is Love Anyway?).
Others still are tethered to relationships - a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend, a mentor. I write about this a lot. (See: Once I Had Mountains and The Sweetest Sound). Relationships provide so much. A sense of belonging. A place within your community. A point of reference for connection with others. In relationships, we love and are loved. But we also give, and we take. And sometimes we hurt, and are hurt. All relationships evolve, all relationships falter, and all relationships end. They are an anchor, but they are not forever. (See: We All Know It Ends).
Today, I ask myself: what am I anchored to? Why? How did I come to be anchored thus, and what comes next? How about you? If all such anchors decay to rust, perhaps there is something else greater and more enduring for us to be anchored to. If so, what? (Consider: “S” Words”).
J
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I think our anchors are varied and certainly change with time, with some standing the test of time while others are more empheral. The ones the stand the test of time become more and more stabilizing as the decades pass. I think of my marriage , the pickup basketball game I have been part of for 25+years , extended family since I’ve been aware and boyhood and college friends that are still there. Like an anchor I don’t need to test it very often - there is solace knowing that it is there. As time marches on I value those anchors more and more each day. My wife and I just went to a “Simon and Garfunkel song book” show. There were many gems throughout the night but the performance of “Bookends” was particularly poignant. Indulge in some quiet time, put on headphones/earbuds , grab a glass of wine (or other spirit) and emerge yourself in the emotion that Paul Simon evokes.